In a new interview Lily Allen gives us her view of drugs because we all really want to know:

“The only story is that drugs are bad and they will kill you- you will become a prostitute, a rapist or a dealer. But that’s not true. I know lots of people who take cocaine three nights a week and get up and go to work. But we never hear that side of the story. I wish people wouldn’t sensationalize it. Some people are just bad at taking drugs.”

Wow, Lily Allen knows people who do cocaine and still get up and go to work. I tried coke once, cleaned my apartment, took my dogs for a walk, alphabetized my DVD collection, brushed my teeth seven times, called every contact in my cell phone, learned how to juggle, then went to work for 17 hours. And it was the weekend. Work wasn’t even open.

Allen admitted in the interview that she did cocaine to try and fit in, but didn’t like it very much. Of course, everyone is pissed about the interview. (Allen also slams Christianity.) I guess some people are just bad at keeping their mouth shut.   

Lily Allen says Lily Allen sucks. Talking about her failed BBC talk show, Lily Allen and Friends, Allen gave herself a generous 5 out of 10.

But, in her words, “I made a lot of money out of it. Thank you, TV license-payers, that was very nice of you. You think Russell Brand is your problem but actually it was me.”

It’s not that I refuse to believe that Lily Allen’s show sucked. It’s that I refuse to believe Lily Allen has any friends. Because I have no friends, and I’m prettier. Okay, that’s not true. I’m not prettier. And my breath smells like baloney and Doritos. And I have an unborn twin brother growing out of my left side.

But at least I still have my dignity.

Celebrities are so narcissistic.

Here is Lily Allen adding to the world’s glut of superfluous “entertainment” by talking about absolutely nothing on her video blog. 

As if we care. As if we would waste our time watching this. What does she expect? Someone take the time to post it on a website, and perhaps even write some irreverent commentary? Oh, shit. Never mind.

Anyway, it appears Allen hired Diddy’s videographer. But, Allen did manage to out-douche Diddy by deciding to eat while she filled us in on her life fabulous life.

Watch it for the dogs. They do tricks.