Here are five tips for enjoying Halloween courtesy of Somecodes:

1. Haunted Houses can be expensive and have long lines. If you want some real scares, take the kids to Sizzler instead.

2. Here’s a fun party game for the kids. Blindfold them and have them feel cold spaghetti noodles. Tell the kids they are touching intestines! Next, have them touch peeled grapes and say they are “eyeballs.” After that use the garbage disposal to replicate a school of piranhas.

3. Remember, nothing improves self-esteem more than dressing up like a slutty nurse, drinking until you vomit and passing out on a park bench.

4. You know what would be hilarious? Dressing up the dog in a costume.

5. The best Halloween costumes are the ones that are made using wit, creativity, and basic materials that can be found in the home, you cheap piece of shit.

And in honor of the most important holiday ever, I thought we’d take a look back at the scariest music stories of the year. (At least since we’ve been updating the gossip column.)

Mariah Carey wants to make a movie based on her Christmas album.

Heidi Montag to unleash a Christian album on the world.

Michael Jackson loves Frisbee and KFC….

…and he was supposedly bonin’ Pamela Anderson.

And imagine how horrifying it would be to work for Courtney Love.  

Get your resumes in order people. Courtney Love has just posted the following “Help Wanted” post on MySpace:

is anyone insanely clean neatfreak near malibu? i need a non thieving non freaky housekeeper
also i need we need a documentarist, someone to document our studio as we go in wedsday, and i have ALOT of work to do til then and i wont just hand this to hbo or bbc 2 or bravo and god forbid not vh1! A DOCUMENATRY NOT A REALITY SHOW. get in touch with jason whp will further put you in touch with jason wienberg at untitled.
and am looking for a young PA type someone whor eally wants to get nto the film business cos as we startramping up pay some dues with me for a few months and you can be on this HTH movie - i think i know who i want to play kurt- he may not be as BEAUTIFUL as the other two but hes got something special and looks alot like him and has a great voice.
i know this is wierd- the agencies suck and im sick of PIGS who steal itts simple as that., so fuck it why not try my space , beats monster . no superfans please. and its very good money. btw the housekeeping part just early hours .
thanks
wierdo mgcee

I’m sure Jason Wienberg’s assistant is going to love all of the phone calls he or she gets today from all the budding “documentarists” on MySpace. And yes, I have accepted the position of nonfreaky housekeeper.