We’ve already covered vagina, and now Somecodes.com presents Andy Allen’s “The Breast Song.” Does anyone else see a pattern here?
This is like John Denver, if John Denver was a pervert. But it’s about so much more than breasts! Also covered– Bruce Hornsby, caribou urine, and Elisabeth Shue (hence the lovely pic.)
Enjoy. But not at work.
Some radio station played a clip of Britney Spear’s new song, “Womanizer,” and (Horray for the Internet!) it’s online.
The song isn’t going to be released for three more days, but here is a 30-second clip so that you know what it sounds like coming out of an AM radio from down the block.
I recommend you listen to Kat Deluna sing the National Anthem first because then this sounds like the greatest song ever.
I’m sure Britney has already won seven VMAs for this. Who needs to even see the video? Enjoy.
The title song on Jessica Simpson’s upcoming “country” album, Do You Know, is a duet with Dolly Parton. What’s interesting isn’t the fact that Jessica was actually able to convince Dolly to sing on her album, but what Dolly and Jessica sing to one another.
Jessica: Lying here beside you in the dark/ I feel the steady rhythm of your heart/ Feel your face against my shoulder/ Breath upon my skin/ Embers barely smoldered/ I make love to you again
Jessica and Dolly: Nothing in this world compares to this/ The way our bodies fit/ The way we kiss
Sure, it’s a lesbian song, but there’s something about picturing Jessica Simpson and Dolly Parton making love that doesn’t seem quite right. It’s like when James Bond slept with Grace Jones in A View to A Kill. It’s hot for those who like a little vomit in their mouth while they do it.
Yes, The Hills are still alive with the sound of regurgitation. Heidi Montag has released another song, her twelfth this week. What, does she not work?
Rather than post the “The Party’s Wherever I Am,” you’ll have listen to it here. I was going to post it, but I thought it would be more enjoyable to look at one of her slutty pictures. But that wasn’t doing it for me either, so I’m just going with this pic.
Ahhhh. Isn’t that nice? Pudding wrestling almost makes me forget that Heidi Montag even exists. But then there’s the douche bag sitting in the corner. Who in the hell wears socks in the pudding fight pit? Spencer Pratt. That’s who.
Terrence Howard admitted to the New York Times that he is bat-shit crazy, in the Kathy Bates, Misery kind of way. He wrote the song “No. 1 Fan” from his new album while stalking his ex:
“It was raining, and I was sitting there in front of the house, watching her come home from a date after we were divorced. I was imagining what she did on this date, and watching her giving him a kiss. I went home and wrote this song.”
Howard’s ex wife also inspired the songs, “Guess Who’s Got A Finger in the Mailbox?,” “Sorry About Your Pet Rabbit,” and “It’s Only Because I Love You (That You’re Tied Up in that Chair, Bitch).”
It seems Dave Coulier, a.k.a. Uncle Joey on Full House, is the inspiration for Alanis Morissettes’s angry-chick anthem, “You Outta Know.” He recently told a Canadian newspaper about his reaction upon first hearing it on the radio: “I said, ‘Wow, this girl is angry.’ And then I said, ‘Oh man, I think it’s Alanis.’ . . . I listened to the song over and over again, and I said, ‘I think I have really hurt this person.’” What about me, Coulier? Now, whenever I hear that song, I have to think about the chick from You Can’t Do That on Television going down on Uncle Joey in a theater while he’s doing Popeye impressions. I can never listen to Jack FM again, douche knuckle.
After being dropped by the James Bond producers in favor of Alicia Keys and Jack White, Amy Winehouse insists that she is going to release her own James Bond theme song anyway. She reportedly told New Magazine “I do think they could have waited a bit. If they want a worldwide hit I have them all up here (pointing to her beehive). I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring. When I do release mine - and I am tempted to do it on the same day - this would be the bigger hit.” Reportedly, Amy’s version consists of banging a frying pan against the wall and screaming, “Mr. Lincoln has my jelly donut,” repeatedly. Still, it’s got to be better than this.
Or maybe fifteen more. And instead of vodka, make my screwdrivers with arsenic, please. Heidi Montag released a new song called “One More Drink.” I’ve gotten kicked out of Toy’s R Us for playing better music on one of those toddler Xylophones. But if you really want your face melted off Raider’s-of-the-Lost-Arc style: One More Drink (Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You)!
