Amy Winehouse has been terrorizing guests and staff at a posh spa resort in the Caribbean. Intended on being part of a “health kick,” the trip has turned into a nightmare for all involved.

Despite an agreement between Amy’s management and the resort staff to ban alcohol service to Winehouse, she keeps getting a hold of drinks anyway she can. According to one source: “We keep catching her crawling past bars or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.”

She’s also been smoking joints by the pool, prone to violent mood swings, throwing herself at every man she can, and much to the horror of everyone, hanging out on her balcony playing the guitar topless. And now Winehouse has announced that she’s expanding her two-week vacation for two more months.

I have nothing to add to this except… wait a second. Who the fuck took my beer? It was right here a second ago… It couldn’t have just vanished… AMMMMYYYY!!!!!!!!