I’m sure you’re anxious to know whether or not you made the list. “What list?” you ask. Why, the list Britney Spears’ Dad made of potential dating partners for Brit Brit.

So if you are Chace Crawford, Jesse Metcalf, or Michael Phelps, congratulations, you will be hearing from Britney’s management regarding some very romantic business negotiations. It seems that Larry Rudolph, Brit’s manager, wants to use a new Britney relationship to promote her new album and tour.

So far the only taker has been Benji Madden. He and the Britstress have already gone on some dates. Isn’t that sweet? (I once used my relationship with a fat chick who worked at Long John Silvers to promote my “Nothing but Hushpuppies” diet.)

And by “sweet” I mean vomit-inducing. According to E!, Benji and Paris have been recording new music in her Beverly Hills home studio, including the theme song for her upcoming MTV reality show where 20 skanks vie for Paris’ friendship. Naturally, Paris performs vocals in this power duo. In unrelated news, Beverly Hills authorities report an alarming phenomenon where neighborhood dogs have been hurling themselves in front of cars for no apparent reason.