I can only pray that this is my last Miley Cyrus post ever, but somehow I think she’ll keep doing dumb things. When your dad is Billy Ray Cyrus, stupidity is pretty much your lot in life.

Well now Miley is sharing her own special brand of idiocy with the world, as the 15 year old has announced plans to release her autobiography. That’s good news for her 20-year-old boyfriend, Justin Gaston, because I’m pretty sure once you’ve released an autobiography, you’re allowed to have sex.

And guess what? Somecodes.com managed to get a copy of Miley’s new book, and we have an exclusive peek! Check it out:

Daddy insists on playing his damn song over and over again. “Daddy,” I scream, “Keep it down. I’m tryin’ to make ya’ll baloney cups for dinner.” If I hear Achy Breaky Heart one more time I’m going to flip a frickin’ groundhog. And I have to giddy up with these here vittles, ‘cause Daddy’s setting me up on another date with one of his friends, Hucksaw.  He’s the one who still has all of his toes, on account of the gangue green not gettin’ hold. I can’t wait to be famous!

Yeah, I know, two Miley Cyrus posts in a row. But it’s a slow news day, and it’s either this or “Ashley Simpson Turns 24.” And as much as I tried, I couldn’t find any hot pictures of Ashley Simspon.

So Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday at Disneyland this weekend, albeit seven weeks early. That’s right, Justin Gaston, only 111 weeks until you can legally touch your new girlfriend.

Well, I’m sure Billy Ray Cyrus is having none of this shit. Ol’ Billy Ray probably brings out the shotgun when that no-good Gaston boy comes a’courtin’.

But I could be wrong because Billy Ray, Gaston, and Miley all performed together at her birthday party.

And yes, Disney is the same company that made such a big deal about Miley’s topless photos in Vanity Fair. But you know what they say, “What happens in Tommorow Land hasn’t actually happened yet.”