And here’s my gift to you, a Eurodance version of Wham’s “Last Christmas.” So break out your red and green glow sticks, spike the eggnog with ecstasy, and invite over your weird, creepy ambiguously European neighbor for some holiday cheer!  

Mariah Carey is developing a movie based on her top-selling 1994 album Merry Christmas.

“Since I recorded the Christmas album, I’ve always wanted to make a movie to go with it, something that people could watch and hear and enjoy every year I’m into it. I’m all about the holiday season,” Mariah Carey recently explained to anyone who would listen.

The script is being “written,” and apparently Mariah’s character will try and stop evil property developers from turning her hometown into a giant shopping mall.

I don’t buy it. Mariah is the type of girl who would be all for a new shopping mall. If she couldn’t sing she’d probably be working at the Pretzel Time and trading blow jobs for discounts at Hot Topic.

Look for the movie to be released straight to DVD sometime in May.