If the police ever approach you at LAX and say, “Hey, you look like an annoying teen star,” run for your life.

Adessa Eskridge has filed a claim against the Los Angeles Police Department.  Apparently, she was on a just-landed flight with Britney Spear’s ever-pregnant little sis, Jaime Lynn, when the cops told her to put on her sunglasses, ordered her to follow them, and marched her through a scrum of paparazzi as a Jaime Lynn decoy.

The cops didn’t tell Adessa what was happening until about three seconds before she was swarmed by the paps. Adessa is seeking more than $100,000 for the incident claiming that afterwords she was humiliated all over the World Wide Web.

If only Barbara Streisand and Steve Buscemi would have a child so I could get in on this amateur celebrity decoy action.

Lynne Spears continues her gallant quest to whore out all of her children except for Brian. (Poor Brian, the guy must have no talent what-so-ever. He doesn’t even have a reality show for fuck’s sake.)

Lynne has been making the Hollywood rounds, trying to sell the movie rights to her tell-all book, Through the Storm. Reportedly she wants Julia Roberts to play her and Anna Farris to play Britney.

Why doesn’t Lynne just get Britney to play Britney and Jaime Lynn to play Jaime Lynn? I mean, if you’re going to exploit your children, do it right.

Meanwhile, I guess we’ll all just have to read about Brit’s pregnancy and Jaime’s drug use. Or is it the other way around? Jesus, we need this movie to clear things up. Now that I think about it, this will probably be the most important movie of all time. Give yourself a pat on the back, Lynne Spears. You’re a genius.