Yeah, I know, two Miley Cyrus posts in a row. But it’s a slow news day, and it’s either this or “Ashley Simpson Turns 24.” And as much as I tried, I couldn’t find any hot pictures of Ashley Simspon.

So Miley Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday at Disneyland this weekend, albeit seven weeks early. That’s right, Justin Gaston, only 111 weeks until you can legally touch your new girlfriend.

Well, I’m sure Billy Ray Cyrus is having none of this shit. Ol’ Billy Ray probably brings out the shotgun when that no-good Gaston boy comes a’courtin’.

But I could be wrong because Billy Ray, Gaston, and Miley all performed together at her birthday party.

And yes, Disney is the same company that made such a big deal about Miley’s topless photos in Vanity Fair. But you know what they say, “What happens in Tommorow Land hasn’t actually happened yet.”

Check out Miley Cyrus’ wrist for supposed physical proof that she is hooking up with Justin Gaston. 15-year-olds are so adorable. Except I wouldn’t date one of them. Especially if, like Justin, I was 20 fucking years old.

As you can see, Miley has a freshly drawn “tattoo” that says “JG + MC = Heart.” When I was in Jr. High, I used to draw tattoos on my arm too, except my said “Dragon Fang Ninja.” I used to eat paste as well.

Well, maybe when Justin is in jail, he can write “Mr. Justin Cyrus” over and over again on his prison-issue Trapper Keeper.